After Dad passed, Mom’s dementia got worse and her mobility was less and less every day.
Going out with my Mom was always challenging. It meant being extra patient and vigilant to
our surrounding. Always doing my best to protect her and keep her calm was mentally and
physically taxing to say the least.

On this memorable day, we were at Costco and of course, it was a Saturday because I worked
during the week. By the time we got to the register, I was doing all I could to hold it together
for Mom’s sake. If I was calm, she was calm.

Then it happened!

The women in front of us had her Father and he was “wandering”. She was “done”! She
completely lost it and was yelling at him at the top of her lungs, swearing and ranting like a
crazed maniac! “DAMMIT, WILL YOU F-ING JUST STAY HERE! I TOLD YOU TO STAY BY THE
CART! STOP F-ING WALKING AWAY!”, and that is a paraphrase! She was going on the entire
time it took to ring up her purchases and I really thought she was going to hit him. He was
dazed and confused. He had no idea what he was doing. It was a horrible scene.
My Mom, who was always on my arm, was squeezing it so tight it nearly stopped my blood
flow! Her face was pale and I knew I had to calm her somehow. So, I put my arm around her
and looked her in the eyes and said, “it’s ok, I will NEVER yell at you like that, you will never be
a burden to me!”. She sighed relief.

At that point, I quietly called out to the woman yelling, “Hey, you don’t have to scream like
that, take a breath.”. Her face was inflamed! She was panting and sweating! She yelled back at
me, “YOU DON’T KNOW ME, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IM GOING THROUGH!” and after
several more F bombs she corralled her Father and left.

I will never forget this moment! I will always regret that I didn’t just go to her and give a big
hug and tell her that it’s going to be alright. She was screaming for help! She was literally
yelling, “Gimme a break!”

As my Mom’s Dementia progressed, I was slapped in the face with the reality of how this
woman felt that day. The image of her burned into my memory as a reminder to not cross the
line! Yet, in my head every day, every moment, I screamed, “GIMME A BREAK!”.